The past year for me was very hard, this was the main reason for me not writing since August 2008. But, I have been in the long process of rebuilding my life since I came to New Jersey 10 years ago.  When I first came here I was running away from the world of the known into the unknown (what a crock of crap!).  I thought New Jersey would really help me to start over in a more positive way and then I could go on as nothing had happened.  However, little to my chagrin, I was carry my personal and emotional baggage from one state to another.  Instead of leaving my troubles behind I brought them with me, as so many people do.

A failing relationship, that took me eight years to realize it was doomed from the start, began to propel me into a world of the “get rich, or die trying path (NO CREDIT TO FIFTY CENTS)”  to find myself, as well as my hope and inner strength.  I needed to release all the mental baggage I was carrying.  When I first came to Jersey, I was pretty stable in the daily grind, but hiding so many things to keep up my appearance of professionalism.  I didn’t want anyone to know that I was a divorce` with two kids out-of-wedlock, and a college dropout.  But now it all seems relative, now that I’m older and wiser. I have begun to realize, that when you decide to clean the skeletons out of the closet, your freedom of mind, body, and spirit can begin.

Over the course of my professional life I have worked in various industries, but the one dream that I could never seem to catch up with is the dream of running a successful MLM.  I began in college when I tried to enlist with Mary Kay.  I really liked the idea that they put God first, but then I didn’t understand the concept of cosmetics, nor did I understand that to make money and become a true business, it requires a significant amount of investment in the spending of time, and MONEY.  Hence began my rollercoaster ride of MLM.  I dropped out of the Mary Kay syndicate a month after I began.  If only the recruiter was straight with me and told me that to be successful, you must reinvest money for the first year or so, and dig your heels in, I may not have gotten off the ride!

Then later on, I tried my hand at starting my cleaning business as a sole proprietorship.  Country Tyme Cleaners (as I had so aptly named it) actually took off, but before I knew it, love got in the way and I threw my business away and moved to New Jersey with the  conclusion that, if  having a business of my own, was truly meant for me,  then I would be successful in another state.  To my dismay, it never happened again.  Somehow the “stick to it-ness” or the “stick and stay” was just not with me, and I really knew nothing about being a true business owner. 

With my hopes thrown away, I then decided to try real estate.  But after passing the course and state exam, which was the easy part, I didn’t realize how hard it would be for buyers to commit to one realtor!  The state of New Jersey normally does not use buyers contracts to retain business in real estate, unless the realtor is a good enough salesperson to have a written committment.  So  I worked with many uncommitted customers (I often wondered if this was something normal for people in NJ).  But who knows, maybe it was just me!  Unfortunately, I did not have enough of the drive, nor the knowledge to negotiate contracts, so I let a lot of customers slip through the cracks.   I was unable to set boundaries of what I was willing and not willing to do for a sale.   These things they don’t teach you in Real Estate School, and if that was something you needed to learn you would  literally have to pay an additional fee, for a class they call ”Business Concepts”.   So another lesson learned.  I believe that the real estate market would have really propelled me into financial stability, if I had the proper mentorship.  Real estate really isn’t something that you can start with part-time (which is the mistake I made).  Either you are in or you are out all the way!  And it’s such a shame too, with the way the market is now, I could have made a bundle back then!…….Moving on…………………….

Then, I was approached by Maleuca- that never even got off the ground.  I often found that some ventures I joined were just to win friends, keep friends, or just to plainly “get rich quick”.  I  often wanted to be one of those persuasive types who were able to ” lead the horses to water”  and “make them drink”.  But once again another venture failed.  I often found that the products were superb.  But how could I transfer that belief to others?  It seems to me that without proper guidance and methods, failure is imminent. 

Then along came Avon.  I didn’t even really try my hand at selling it, but knew the products were great.  I had used Avon (and Mary Kay) for most of my young adult life.  Mom sold Avon when we were kids, but I never saw her make a profit, not one that I could remember anyway.  I was approached by someone who told me I could become a salesperson for the low starting fee of just $10.  Wow!  What’s not to love about that?  But buyer beware (or potential business owner beware)!  What you are not told is that you may have other significant start-up costs, such as booklets, other advertising tools (websites), and sample product line to buy so your customers can test the product.   This is definitely a great way for stay at home moms to make a little extra cash, and college students trying their hand at making some extra cash and learning the principles of Business 101.  I actually bought most when I was in college from a girl in the dormitory just down the hall- and it seemed to me that she had that corner of campus marked as her official (everyone seemed to know that Charisse sold Avon) territory!  Then when away at home on break I bought from the woman in my best friends neighborhood, that her mom bought from.  So that “its all who you know” and “word of mouth” thing really does have it’s advantages!

However, being displeased with  Avon’s cosmetics for women of color, and Mary Kay’s price points on small quantity amounts, I upgraded to Amway’s products of Artistry.  At first I only was a consumer.  However, a few years later, I began to invest time and dollars in trying my hand at becoming an associate.  The products being some of the most organic you can buy, have great appeal for someone like me, who is against synthetics and preservatives.  The vitamins being a key selling point for the company (they have certifiable organic farms).  The only real turnoff was the constant pressure to make “PV” every month, extra time taken away from my “Me Time”,  spending on self motivational tools, as well as the cult like atmosphere to hang out together almost 5-7 days a week and forsake family, friends, and hobbies, until you “MAKE IT BIG!”  I could understand the concept of being financially free, even the spending of time with like-minded people, but it should not come at the cost of giving up your time with your family and friends, and most importantly, YOURSELF!  You want people to have access to you, and be able to tell them the joys of your new found success!  You don’t want to always look busy and shun your family!  Any organization that tells you to steer clear of family and friends that don’t approve, and then ”write them off”, I would suggest leaving the group and running for the hills.  Not to say that Amway (formerly Quixtar) promotes this type of behavior, but some groups out there really brainwash people to believe that.  Yes, people who are not happy about your new found success may have a negative impact on your success, but you may want to consider them a “maybe prospect” for the future.  Once they see how well you are doing in your organization, they may even change their minds, but always leave the door open.  To keep it open you may want to just stop harping on your affiliation and just do your best to succeed, so they can see the benefits of your involvement.  Most people appreciate the “doers” more than the “talkers”.  Naysayers should be avoided when getting started but always make sure you are comfortable with YOU before getting into anything.  Some groups really know how to target people who are not “happy” and then reel them in (cults in general) with the promises of either financial or personal enrichment.

To be continued…….  Next THE POWER of YOU

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